Few words or objects have such universal relevance, importance, pleasure and pain (!) in our lives, than the word money.
It feeds us, clothes us, shelters us, allows us to; share with others, give to others and buy for others.
It also controls, worries, tempts, saddens and can even destroy us.
It can bring us joy, relief, security, peace of mind, new opportunities and financial freedom (when we get the formula right).
That’s it, isn’t it? When we get the formula right... everything is fine. But if this is the simple truth, how is it that so many of us are slaves to it and its value? The UK alone has one trillion pounds of debt. The definition of debt? Borrowings of money that are not there: a “Have Today, Pay Tomorrow” mentality.
I grew up in a generation where ‘borrowing’ was still morally frowned upon. If it was really needed for a house or business etc then your entire life’s purpose was to clear the debt as quickly as possible and go without ‘extras’ in the process. Admirable in some ways but a mental strain too, as everyone lived in fear of being morally judged by others.
The 80’s changed all that. Suddenly financial credit became fashionable, necessary, and even desirable as a wave of: “It’s ok to have today because we can pay for it tomorrow” swept across the western world. As a result the standard of living rose quickly as houses, cars, holidays and lifestyle became the latest “must have goals”
A new generation come out of school. Now almost all could go to university. Postgraduates, now young executives had a lifestyle their parents had never seen and their grandparents could only dream of and so on and so on.
Now, in the new millennium, borrowing money has become the ‘norm’ for the majority. It’s the way to progress. The way to get on in life; even survive sometimes. The challenge is that what started as ‘borrowing’ – to obtain a loan with the intention to pay back - has become permanent ongoing credit for many (where it becomes difficult or impossible to pay back). A different scenario altogether, especially when the cost of borrowing becomes disproportionate to the ability to finance.
The older generation may remember the days when paying back was seen as a moral responsibility in society and still value this discipline today. A younger generation have a very different take on the situation. Who can blame them?
They have only ever known a society who promotes a culture of “Have today, Pay for tomorrow” mentally which is fine as long as they are able and willing to pay off the debt. But with job uncertainty, expensive housing and an environment which encourages lending for anything; clearing debt and staying clear becomes much more of a challenge. Then there is the worry, stress and strife that this all can cause. Entrepreneurial flair (the top percentage of the money generators in the country) all “arrived” at their financial security by borrowing.
So therein lies the conundrum for all of us;
When is borrowing the gateway to financial freedom? Or the death- knell to happiness and inner peace? Is it possible to have one without the other? Should we worry about having ongoing credit when we are all trying to do the best for ourselves, our children and our financial security for the future?
With each ensuing decade, some problems in life are new and some are as old as the hills. They often reappear with the younger generation but are re-packaged for the times people are living in.
Here is my take, based on my experience as a businessman of 30years. Father and husband of 20 years and credit cards to pay off soon! They may not be the answer to everyone’s woes but they are at least food for thought as to how you can make the best of your situation:
- Do everything in moderation. Borrow enough to make things possible if you must but only what you can afford to pay back. It leaves you in control of your future and not at the mercy of your lender.
- Set goals to review your borrowings and targets to keep it under control with milestones.
- If necessary, learn to be happy with less than your neighbour or colleague. ‘Keeping up with the Joneses’ is a fear and insecurity within YOU, not a route to happiness and fulfilment. Only when you look at YOU, will your happiness within become more apparent to you. It’s cheaper in the long run too, emotionally and financially.
- Make a point of having and increasing pleasures that do not cost you money. Nothing wrong with spending. But better for it to be OPTIONAL rather than necessary.
- Never believe that comparing your ‘haves’ or bank balance with others will bring you happiness and financial security. It doesn’t and it won’t. Find the strength and the discipline to set your own boundaries within rather than WITH OUT.
- Discover what will really make you happy and fulfilled in life; rather than assume you already know.
- Always believe it’s never too late to change direction, revalue the score and adapt with the times. No matter how uphill your situation seems right now. Tomorrow is another day. Your future is more important that your past!
Picture this: The Smith’s
Three hundred years ago, the definition of ‘poor’?
A family struggling to find enough to eat and survive on; squalid conditions, poor health and a short life expectancy as a result of the stresses and strain. School is for the privileged and wealthy. Owing to others not an option, well morally at least.
Now fast track forward to 2010:
Fashionable clothes, TV’s and computers – and that’s the kids we are talking about. Oh and there’s the trendy school bag, mobile phone, a menu for lunch. Private Schools for the privileged and driven there in a 4x4 please! Life revolves around working more and meeting the financial demands each month.
Changed days’ yea?
So what has changed:-
Well one family had not heard of the credit card and if necessary went cold and hungry. And if fate dictated, even took ill and maybe died. They played imaginary games in the street.
The other has several cards, a mortgage and two cars to pay off. The kids like fast food and communicating electronically. It’s all about perception nowadays. “That we are all doing really well in life” Wouldn’t do if others perceived differently!
So when it comes to financial security- who is better off? Who has got life in the bag? Or more to the point – who are the real winners?
OK no one wants the life of the Smiths. Agreed! But just sometimes the way to be happy in the 21st century is to at least revisit the values from the past and combine them with the opportunities of today.
Therein lies the answer, our secret to personal happiness and peace of mind. How it is possible to have both. We only have to be able to think and act out of the box, take responsibility for ourselves, question whether others lending to us is the only way?
By depending on money from others as the only answer, we are closed down to our true potential to create for ourselves and in so doing, achieving our true happiness within.
Isn’t life exciting when we realise there is always another way!
“He who can adapt to change will succeed and create the life he wants and deserves”.
PS Life Can Be Easy can help.
Have fun!
Billy
